Monday, 22 August 2011

Zombie Survival Manifesto

I was asked the question again (as lads often do) regarding my Zombie Survival Plan. If Z Day ever comes, I propose, as my Plan A, that:

Location: A lighthouse (position yet to be confirmed). Out away from the dangerzone, and although isolated, it would be hard to storm en masse, with a tight spiral interior to bottle-neck any undead, and a rocky terrain leading to the main entrance, that will use the tides to wash away many. Before anyone (metaphorically) mentions the big ficking torch on the roof, this will be disabled prior to residency. Upper level stairs will be retractible, plus charges will be set if overwhelmed. The only escape route will be a pulley system secured to the outer wall (where the main supplys will be secured) to lover into a boat anchored below.

Weapons/Equipment: Ballistic weapons make unwanted noise, but range is needed if possible. A high powered hunting crossbow ticks all the boxes. A big ass meat cleaver (weight to remove limbs), a sharpened screwdriver (minimal fuss and unmessy brain destroying and a hurling stick (blunt Irish brutality) comprise the close quarters melee weapons. a chainmail suit protects against bites, but will be heavy, so a second, light weight ceramic plate armour (for mobility and agility) will also be used, depending on the situation. I may sound mad, but a pedal bike is the primary mode of transport, as it keeps me fit, is reasonably speedy and doesn't need fuel. It can also be more easily manouvered than a car or horse.

Suck on that Zombies.

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